FML!!! FML BIG TIME!!!

I got word today that I didn't get a job I had interviewed and campaigned heavily for.  That really sucked. 

"What's wrong with me?," I complained to my girl friend, "I go to Pei Wei every week and order something To Go so that I can secretly shove ten fortune cookies into my bag and eat one every day for breakfast. So that I can feel for five minutes like something fantastic is going to happen to me. But wait! This isn't Soviet Fucking Europe! This is the USA! Fuck, you're not even that miserable, and you live in Fucking Macedonia," I said. 

"The biggest difference is that I would be too ashamed to steal ten extra fortune cookies," she observed.