Just call me the one with short hair who's moderately intelligent

Of the main stream Mexican hot sauces out there, Cholula hot sauce is by far the most expensive. You can get a giant bottle of Tapatío (literally, it's giant) for about $2, but a small bottle of Cholula can be as much as $3. It's nuts. I like Cholula, and always chalked up the huge price difference to the fact that Cholula is superior, and probably doesn't have the joint-hardening preservatives that keeps Tapatío so tastey and the same color for 6 months without refrigeration.

Well, I got a wiiiild hair this weekend and decided to do some good ol' fashion research. You'd think that if Cholula truly used better ingredients and kept the preservatives out of their hot sauce, we'd be hearing about it. Tabasco ages their hot sauce in wooden casks for godsakes. What the hell is that extra $1-2 about, Cholula??

Then bingo: my boyfriend found it. It's the little wooden cap they put on the top. That's why it's so damn expensive -- everyone else just uses plastic.

I clearly have no taste, and base everything I think is more desirable on its price. I might as well go watch "Sex and the City 2" and have sad epiphanies about myself.