Emu Schmemu

I had to go to San Diego and, while I was there, (and actually pretty far away from San Diego proper) I found a cluster of emu and ostrich farms. Near these farms were a bunch of stands selling local honey and fruits, as well as ostrich and emu eggs. I was intrigued, and figured if the eggs were less than $40 I'd just get one. Full ostrich eggs were about $25, and emu eggs about $20. The emu eggs were also this crazy blue/green color and looked more like an avocado than something a giant bird would lay.

So I decided to preserve my emu egg, cleaning it and cooking the inside. My uncle mentioned it would be cool to fry one giant egg, and, I'll admit, I was really tempted to do that. But, I'm a nerd, so I awkwardly got the egg out of the shell with a straw, sometimes the stuff going up the straw and into my mouth and me being disgusted and pulling the straw out of my mouth and it going everywhere in the kitchen. 30 minutes later, I had a scramble going.


That's ALL ONE EGG. I was going to keep the shell for myself, but my mentor at CalArts actually wrote a book of poems inspired by the color blue and apparently people give her cool blue shit all the time. So, you know, had to give it up.


I took a picture of the egg next to a quarter and somehow double exposed it with my cat lookin' out the window. But it was big!