Looking righteous in a tight dress

"Did you know, that the best indicator of unhealthy behavior, is not actually illegal drug use, but cigarette use?" said the guy to the left of me. 

"It's because they're socially acceptable but so unhealthy. You can publicly proclaim your hate for yourself," said the girl to the right. 

"Oh totally! Yeah! Hate them. Would never do it," I said as I faked a cough and shoved the Ultra Lights pack deep into my purse.