Barren and Harpooned

My boyfriend is a cinematographer. Unfortunately -- especially in this economy -- he is not always able to act as cinematographer on gigs (sometimes assistant camera, etc). He currently has such a job. I remember him telling me about it:

BF: "I got a job on a Discovery Health Channel show."
Dodo: "Oh...my..God..!!!"
BF: "No...it's not what you think."

It wasn't what I thought -- it was "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." He shoots dramatizations of women giving birth into toilets in fast food places, unaware they were ever pregnant. The show always has happy endings. He's almost barfed on set a couple of times. Mostly I'm surprised that Discovery would invest in something so tacky. But everyone knows this show. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E.

Apparently they have been really ramping things up on IDKIWP recently. "This week there's a woman who had her baby in a boot!"; "One woman has a baby in her pants and a doctor has to announce it with great surprise." Tomorrow he is working on one of the latest pregnancy-wowzer shows: "Pregnant and Impaled."

Let's just get right to the point with our title, right people? "Pregnant and Impaled." Not too many surprises in that one I'd think. Except for the impaling of pregnant women.