If you didn't think this post was funny, imagine how I feel.

On Monday night I was meeting a new friend for dinner when I learned that he was taking me to a nice steakhouse. At dinner he insisted I drink while he ordered a Sprite. Three times during dinner friends of his, all possibly below drinking age, stopped by to say hi and introduce themselves to me. They were nice. We talked about business and he told me about how rich he is. While refusing dessert he asked me if I was married, told me that I look 27 and slipped in the fact that he is still a virgin. He drove me home in his mini Cooper playing trance-hop and when we got to my building he asked me how I like the neighborhood.

I am still decompressing.