How I could just kill a man

A friend of mine has been in town for a math seminar the last few days. Considering what good friends we are, the time we spent together should have been way better. I shoulder most of the blame for that, but at some point I draw the line and start blaming Kate.

One. Naked Cowboy. "I'm an equal-opportunity butt pincher!!!" Enough said. I am so glad that camera ran out of memory.

Two. We didn't consume any alcohol together. Fucking A, every time I mentioned getting a drink she started talking about a cup of coffee. 

Three. Have you ever spent more than seven hours with someone who won't stop talking about their wedding.... when their wedding was more than 10 months ago? NTK: I was there! Saw it the first time! What, just because I don't remember it?

Four. Walking around Central Park. "It's easy to tell all the tourists, they're dressed just like me!" Cue to close-up of her I Heart NYC shirt. Bright white.

Five. In the hotel lobby. "Wait, who don't you like? That guy? That guy right behind you with the muscles, the guy talking really loudly? To that woman? Wait, why don't you like him? Oh you're right, I should be quiet!"