6.19.2009

I'm brave but I'm chickenshit

Apparently in New York you have to apply if you want to do anything, like join clubs and have roommates. I can't believe how many applications I've filled out. I had to fill out an application to join a wine club. I consider this self-defeating. Meeting weirdos is half the point of public drinking.

I had to fill out a personality quiz to get a roommate. I found many of the questions to be invasive and personal. I tried to evade them because I found the whole thing to be offensive.

"What is your sexual orientation?"
Half and half.

"How clean or organized are you?"
Very. Well, somewhat. Most of the time.

"What do you usually like to do on the weekends?"
Extreme outdoor calisthenics, knitting competitions, etc.

"What kinds of TV shows and radio stations do you watch/listen to?
Exclusively reality. TEAM SPEIDI!

"How much do you talk on the phone? Use the internet?"
Sometimes I combine these two with a little-known application called "Skype."

"Do you drink heavily, smoke cigarettes (or anything at all?) abuse prescription drugs, or use illegal drugs/substances?"
Never!

"Do you respect the law and our government?"
I think the answer to what you're getting at is, Yes, I am afraid of cops.

"What are your political values? Do you vote?"
Yes, very much.

"Have you ever been party to a civil suit?"
It's an experience I would look forward to.

"How experienced are you with living or working in diverse environments?"
I lived an entire year in Belgrade.

"Do you have any health issues we should be aware of? (i.e., seizures, fainting spells, communicable diseases, etc.)"
Everything will be fine if you don't touch my toothbrush or panties.

1 comment:

  1. Hhahaha you're going to get the coolest roommate ever. Or a complete freak. One or the other.

    ReplyDelete