Oy Oy Macha!

As a traveler I love blending. I try to get as much information about the place I'm visiting so that natives believe I am also a local (how to say basic words, how to get places so I don't have to open some awkward nerd-tourist-sized map). When I lived in Europe this worked like a charm, at least when I was walking down the street or getting food. I was suddenly Spanish, Dutch, French, English. People offered to sell me coke in Danish in the dodgy parts of town. I was on the in crowd (but not really, no coke for me thanks).

This trip to Costa Rica shattered the happy concept that I could do this in most places, even though nearly everyone in Costa Rica is "white," or light skinned. I have dishwater blonde hair -- not ALL that uncommon there -- with a funky self-bleach job that even my bomb hair dresser gives me props for. Apparently this was an invitation for nearly every man (including a homeless Geriatric Gerold in the alley) to call out "macha" ["blondie"] when I neared them. What do they want, that I raise my hand like I'm noting I'm present in class? "Yes, that's me! a blonde person." Their tone seemed to want to provoke little more.

At one point I was walking around downtown San Jose and a bunch of teens had just gotten out of school. Some kids were calling the regular "macha/machita" as I passed their parked bus. At this point I had learned to act like a stupid American and not look up. Then one of them took out a camera and tried to take a picture! I could only half-naturally/awkwardly cover my face until I rounded the corner. Apparently a light-haired girl in a dress is highly irregular in the city. This mostly surprised me because I was walking with the friend I was visiting--she is heart-stoppingly beautiful, with gorgeously huge eyes, and was once a star on one of the most popular shows in Costa Rica as a teenager. The chances of me taking a man's attention if he were in the company of both of us is highly unlikely.

I have a feeling my friend was being nice and lied to me. Maybe Costa Ricans take "macha" to mean something more in the nature of say...freak. "Hey freak! Stop for this picture!" Yeah. That would definitely make more sense.