Artful Dodger

Right before I left for Costa Rica, I made a big discovery: I have never had to commute during the height of the Dodger/Laker season. Last year I was taking the bus at this time.

A few days before my trip, I was making my way home. There were a ton of Dodger fans in full face paint, blue-and-white wigs, keg totin', RV drivin' and simultaneously cat callin'. All that annoying business aside, traffic was probably the worst I have ever seen on Sunset Boulevard. Ever. Including Halloween. It took roughly 30 minutes to go a mile. All I saw when I finally got to the scene causing the traffic was two cars in the middle of the road, about 10 cop cars, a police helicopter and two ambulances. No harmed civilians anywhere, just locals coming out to witness...apparently nothing other than cars sitting there. Snapping off pictures.

So I the next day I asked my (now former) co-worker who knows everything and lives in the area what the hell happened. He explained that first of all, it was Dodgers opening day, so traffic had been insane, and everyone literally just tailgated all damn day. So because of the traffic, someone got pissed off and (of course) stabbed someone else and ran away. Stab time was said to be at 5:43PM: the height of rush hour (explains ambulance number 1, the helicopter and probably most of the cop cars). Then two people got in a car accident and were fighting about it, until the cops showed up and they abandoned their vehicles on Sunset (hence the two cars just sitting there). AND lastly a baby had an asthma attack (final piece, final ambulance).

I want to have no part of these infantile drunken asthmatic stabbers and their athletic obsession. Why do they have to come to my neighborhood??