Incinerate, incinerate, incinerate

On Thursday last week one of my friends invited me over to watch Mad Men and eat pizza. I was really excited because he is super-duper-ooper smart and I love talking to him. He is one of those people that I can ask questions about how leaves grow and he will teach me about the way plants read DNA. None of this makes me want to fuck him. In fact I regard the thought of sexualizing with him as an oddity, the way I would regard a wax reproduction of Elizabeth Taylor's genitalia. 

I had to think of a way to un-date-ify the situation, and quick, but nothing was coming-- so when he asked what toppings I wanted on the pizza I saw my opportunity and grabbed it. "GARLIC! LOTS OF GARLIC!"