As my bones grew, they did hurt

When I was 19 I went to Vancouver for a liquid vacation. One night at a diner I was going to the waitress decided to give me and my boyfriend free pitchers of straight-up martinis. As martinis are known to improve one's IQ by a factor of 10, I drank almost an entire pitcher. I thought it was hilarious.

For years afterwards I cited this waitress as the coolest I have ever encountered. Now I think she may have been playing a cruel joke.