tainted love's to fast to dance to

Growing up in the 'hood, my neighbors were Mormon. Not jack-mormon. REALLY MORMON. Once they washed out my brother's mouth with soap. I remember them trying to baptize me and their mom drinking caffeine-free diet Coke (but it was a secret!) and the girl telling my dad the first time I said "motherfucker". In the entire stretch of the neighborhood, we were the most wholesome possible playmates for those kids. That's pretty sad. 

The girl who is my age facebooked me. She is annoying everyone now by asking for costume suggestions for her 3 year old boy. "A chocolate chip cookie!" said one LDS chick. "Santa Clause!" said another. You know what I said? "Testicles!"