This is a true story as recounted to me earlier today

"You know, I'm really interested in bumming," said my friend's English friend to my friend. He was referring to anal sex, both homosexual and heterosexual. "And what's so interesting about that is that I've done so much of it and have never seen the point. What's really weird is bumming with a woman. It's practically a crime to bum with someone who has an actual alternative. Do you ever think about bumming?" he asked her. 

"No I don't, because I have hemorrhoids," she replied. 

"You seem uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable speaking about this?" he inquired.

"Yes, because your wife is standing right there," she said, pointing just behind him.