Pa pa pa poker face, pa pa poker face

Boyfriend went to watch Wolverine tonight, and since I don't stand for that shit, I went to hang out with my 20-year-old friends in their college apartment. I brought over a 1.75 liter bottle of wine and sipped it politely while bleaching one of their hair. When the dude next to me, Named Jimmy, asked what I was drinking, I replied, "A fine merlot," which meant it cost more than $10.99. "Once I drank merlot," he replied, "But I called it mer-lott. It was Manny's Merlott. I drank the bottle and then puked it all up." 

That's why I hang out with 20-year olds. When I hang out with 25-year olds, they want to tell me about what book they're reading, like I give a shit.