3.31.2009

Twilight Bra1n Stimulatorz Audio Boox

The other day I saw an audio book of Twilight for sale. This is like a whole other level of laze, but not only laze--rather with the pretext of mental growth and benefit. We (as in the world) get audio books because we want to read literature, but cannot find the time. But we want to better our minds! Come to understand the cultural importance of Moby Dick or The Tale of Two Cities, or just chuckle along to Me Talk Pretty One Day. But I'm sorry, I consider the audio book of Twilight to be the equivalent to this ab exercising thing:

ie. something that has the ruse of helping the user, and really doesn't do shit. C'mon! If people are going to read Twilight, at least make them read the words on a goddamn page. Make them use their eyes and minds to translate the figures in front of them in (maybe not in this case) coherent sentences of narrative. Make them work, even if it is hardly working.

I would normally consider Twilight to be the equivalent to the Harry Potter series, The Da Vinci Code, but have recently set it a few solid rungs below since hearing of the severe anti-feminist nature of the heroine/hero's relationship. Also apparently in one of the later books the vampire hubby straight up eats a baby out of the girl's uterus.

I'm sorry--the BABY eats its way out of the main character's uterus. Sorry to offend with my lack of Twilight knowledge.

Ok apparently I was right the first time.

As I was saying...

When in God's name did this become main stream??
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6 comments:

  1. FlamingoMarch 31, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    So yeah...who ever sold you the story of baby eating...not so much...yeah...not even close. Granted, it's not Hemingway or Shakespeare, but it is mildly entertaining to read...with words on pages and everything.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CoreyMarch 31, 2009 at 9:44 PM

    the person above me clearly didn't read the book. edward eats through the main chick's uterus to get the baby out.

    http://i39.tinypic.com/2vjqvdl.jpg

    http://i41.tinypic.com/2lwx6pe.jpg

    http://i39.tinypic.com/205qirs.jpg

    http://i44.tinypic.com/2n7r215.jpg

    BE DISGUSTED.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sun FollowerMarch 31, 2009 at 11:26 PM

    I'm told TWILIGHT is a social phenom. Like.. twittering?

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousApril 1, 2009 at 7:11 AM

    I agree with you totally. Twilight can be read in about three hours, and this is only due to the length of the novel, certainly not the difficulty of the prose. It is written on the level of a slow-talking fifth grader.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Native MinnowApril 2, 2009 at 9:35 AM

    There goes my plan to get into shape via electrodes on my abs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousApril 4, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    EXCUSE ME WHAT?

    ReplyDelete

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