when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, even your year

This morning I read a short article about how the fast pace of today's commercial television is believed to cause or further ADHD in children. I watch television, and I became concerned. I thought about how I can't watch a movie without falling asleep or starting to clean. I thought about how I weigh books to make sure they're less than a pound heavy before buying. I thought about how much my teachers hated me. 

But then I went to the gym. I realized that I am capable of at once mastering the StairMaster while sipping water, sweating profusely and reading the new President's inauguration speech as I listened to a workout remix of Free Falling and contemplated popping the zit on my armpit.  If you gave me an extra second or two, I could move my eyes a quarter of a centimeter to the second television at the gym to learn about Pillsbury's new Toaster Strudels in a tasty commercial, increase the intensity level of the Master and skip a song on my iPod shuffle while decreasing the volume on the headphones.  

I realized that with skills like mine, who needs movies? Who needs books? Who needs teachers?